Chronic illness, Invisible Illness, multiple sclerosis, transverse myelitis

1+5 = 48

1 incline in a parking garage…. As I left the hospital from visiting a friend (Yes, I was actually visiting and not admitted for once.), I walked, with my son in tow, back to the parking garage. I started toward the elevator to go to the second floor when my eyes gazed curiously at the incline in the parking garage. I stood there for at least two minutes and one question entered my mind, ” Could I make it?” It’s a seemingly silly question for most people, but for me, it was…The Ultimate Challenge. (Go back and Re-Read the words “The Ultimate Challenge” in your best movie-trailer-deep-voiced-dude impression) The logical half of my brain told me that “Now is not a good time because there are no adults around to rescue you if you can’t make it all the way up.” and then there was the warrior side of my brain that said, “It’s been a while since you tried to really push yourself so go on girl! Give it your best shot!”. My warrior brain won the argument but as my legs started to burn not even half-way up the incline, my logical brain scoffed as she won the battle.


5 Steps… You’d think after I had barely made it to my car, I would have gone home to hit the bath, ibuprofen, and bed, but I happened to be passing my nieces volleyball game on the way home and I’d really been wanting to see her play. When I wobbled into the gym, because by now my legs felt like jello, and not the stable kind, I saw that my sister was sitting 5 steps up the bleachers. I’m not talking about 5 “regular” steps. These steps were twice the size of regular steps, at least, and practically required a running start to get up. Again, The logical part of my brain said, “Are you even kidding me right now?” And then the warrior side of my brain roared, “YOU’VE GOT THIS! Don’t let everyone see your weakness!!” Well, guess which side of my brain won? My sister took my son and jaunted up the steps while I, very ungracefully, crab-crawled my way up.


48 Hours in Bed… Somehow, by the grace of God alone, I managed to get home. Thankfully my Sweetie was home and was able to help me into bed. My little adventure took its toll and I ended up in bed for two days trying to recover. I needed help from everything  from dressing myself to getting in and out of the bath. So ridiculous that activities I used to never even think twice about can now wear my body down so badly. It’s frustrating as hell and, for the most part, I listen to my logical brain and play it pretty safe…But don’t think I’m not going to let that warrior brain take full charge every once in a while. After all, how will I ever know what I can do if I don’t push myself to find out what I can’t?

Chronic illness, Invisible Illness, multiple sclerosis, transverse myelitis, Uncategorized

Chronically Pregnant – Week 13

13-weeks Ok, before you get all up in arms about my photo, it’s just mint tea people! Saving those double shot espressos until after BabyJax makes his arrival! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s chat about neuropathy. I’ve started to notice that the neuropathy in my feet is increasing, as well as some of the nerve pain in both of my legs and back. This is a bit alarming to me because I’m barely into my second trimester and I really cannot take any preggo-safe medications to help the symptoms. I did bring this up to my OB and have a neuro consult scheduled so I’ll keep you posted! The last thing I want is to be a fall risk while I’m pregnant…I’m ungraceful enough as it is.

A few things I’m doing that have helped to alleviate some of the neuro symptoms include:

  1. Not sitting too long. I sit for work/writing/because I’m tired and feel like it, etc. I try to get up and stretch every 15-20 minutes. I march in place or go for a quick walk.
  2. Sleep with a pillow between my legs. This has seemed to help alleviate some of the back discomfort, and I have a nice long one to rest the belly on which is nice!
  3. Wear comfortable shoes. Most of the time I’m pretty consciences about my fashion sense… Right now I just want to be comfortable and not fall on my face. Wear shoes that are supportive and roomy. Our feet don’t need any more excuses to hate us.
  4. If you’re experiencing increased nerve pain or neuropathy, be sure to bring it up with both your OB doc and your neurologist! Pregnancy is no time to be stubborn because you don’t want to be a complainer. You’re creating new life all while battling a weird and scary disease! You’re already tough 😉