Surprisingly, or not surprisingly, people can be quite judgmental over the idea that I decided to have a baby when I already have a laundry list of health issues. Sometimes it is out of their genuine concern. Often times it’s because they think it was selfish of me to have another child when I already struggle with many daily living activities. While this can be unnerving at times, I don’t let it get to me to deeply. Yes, this pregnancy has been challenging. Yes, being high risk is a scary feeling at times. Yes, many of my symptoms are exacerbated due to pregnancy. I still have no regrets, and if I don’t have any regrets, neither should anyone else, because it’s not their life to have regrets over….it’s mine.
I am proud of my body for still being capable of creating life. I do not take this immense Blessing for granted. Despite my body’s greatest efforts to break me down, there is still this miracle that grows from within me. I may not be in the best health, but my baby is. He is growing strong, doesn’t have any defects that we are aware of, and I’m expected to have a very healthy pregnancy and baby.
A few things I’ve learned to help me deflect judgment:
- I’ve been asked, “Why would you do that to yourself and to your unborn child?” My answer is this; “If my body wasn’t capable of creating life, then it wouldn’t, but it is. Also, I’m already a Mom. My kids think I’m a pretty great mom despite my condition. This baby will share the same love I have for my other children, and that they have for me.”
- Take it with a grain of salt. People that haven’t walked (or tripped, or stumbled) in your shoes can’t possibly know what it’s like to be brave enough to face pregnancy with a chronic illness. I did not have a moment of weakness, I had a vision of strength.
- Snip those bad apples from your tree. I’ve had to distance myself from a few people in my life. Negativity is toxic for my mind, body, and spirit. I have the choice not to receive it and so do you.